Is It Normal to Experience a Gender Identity Crisis as an Adult?
So many of our conversations about gender identity revolve around kids and teens. After all, we expect that our gender identity is something we should have “figured out” by the time we become adults. But of course, this isn’t always the case. If you’re an adult questioning your gender identity, know that you’re far from alone, and this experience is more common than society often acknowledges.
What Is a Gender Identity Crisis?
A gender identity crisis is a period of intense questioning, uncertainty, or confusion about one’s gender identity. This experience can involve deeply examining whether your internal sense of gender aligns with the gender you were assigned at birth. You might begin to question whether you identify more with being male, female, both, neither, or a different gender altogether. Gender identity crises can happen at any age. It’s perfectly normal to question your identity and want to better understand yourself and the way you present gender to the world, no what stage of life you’re at.
Why Do Gender Identity Crises Happen in Adulthood?
Societal Acceptance of Gender Expression
The past few decades have seen a huge shift in the visibility of diverse gender identities. Terms like non-binary, genderqueer, and genderfluid are more widely understood by the general population. People all over are able to explore what it means to be a man or a woman. For many adults, this cultural shift has created the space to question and explore themselves in ways that were unavailable or discouraged in their youth.
Big Life Transitions
Changes in long-term relationships, career shifts, or major age milestones often trigger periods of self-reflection. We tend to naturally reassess who we are and how we want to be seen by the world. Gender identity can be part of this introspective process, and it’s entirely natural to reconsider this aspect of yourself at any point in life.
Uncovering Past Trauma and Repressions
For some people, a gender identity crisis in adulthood is linked to earlier experiences of suppression. They might have felt intense cultural, religious, or familial pressure to conform to a specific gender when they were growing up. Many adults reach a point where they can safely untangle past experiences, especially through therapy. This can lead them to confront questions about gender they may have been unable to face before.
How to Support Yourself Through a Gender Identity Crisis
Take Time to Explore and Reflect
You might instinctively want to label yourself immediately or make yourself fit into a new identity box. But embracing a period of exploration can be incredibly freeing. You have a unique opportunity, so give yourself time to be introspective. Try journaling and reading up on the experts and icons of queer movements and transgender advocacy. You might find that learning more about the experiences of others who have gone through similar journeys gives you perspective.
Find Your Community
A support system at a time like this is irreplaceable. If you’re comfortable, look for friends, family, or online support groups where you can share your thoughts without judgment. Gender questioning is a vulnerable process, and being around people who are willing to understand you can make a tremendous difference. Gender-affirming support groups, either local or virtual, can be excellent resources, especially if you don’t know any out queer people yet.
Talk to a Therapist
A therapist specializing in gender identity or LGBTQ+ issues can give you a safe, nonjudgmental space to explore yourself. They can help you work through the complicated feelings that might come up. Therapy can be especially helpful for addressing any past trauma related to gender, family expectations, or societal pressure, which is likely since this crisis is coming to you later in life. Please reach out today for more information.
