The Hidden Cost of Influence: How Social Media Is Fueling Anxiety in Women
We now live in a world where likes, shares, and followers can define our self-worth. Social media has become both a connector and a thief. It connects us to friends, ideas, and inspiration, but often at the expense of our mental and emotional well-being, especially for women. Beneath the curated feeds and filtered photos lies a hidden emotional toll: rising anxiety, self-doubt, and the feeling that who we are is never quite enough.
The Comparison Trap
One of the most insidious effects of social media is the endless opportunity for comparison. We scroll through highlight reels of other women’s lives—their lavish vacations, career highs, seemingly healthy relationships, and perfect bodies—while measuring them against our behind-the-scenes realities.
It’s easy to forget that what we’re seeing is carefully edited, often filtered, and sometimes entirely staged. And yet, our nervous systems respond as if we are constantly falling short.
This phenomenon is nothing new, but social media has intensified it. Research shows that women, in particular, are more likely to engage in upward comparison (with those they perceive as doing or looking better) which is strongly linked to increased anxiety and lower self-esteem.
The Illusion of Control
Social media makes us believe we can completely control how others perceive us. We can edit our images, craft the perfect caption, and present a version of ourselves we believe will be admired. But that control often leads to anxiety, not relief. The pressure to maintain a certain online persona that’s successful, attractive, and always “on” can be exhausting.
For many women, especially younger generations raised in the digital age, social media has become a performance stage. And like any performance, it breeds performance anxiety. The questions can become endless: Did I post too much? Not enough? Will people notice I gained weight? Have I lost followers? These subtle, insidious thoughts contribute to chronic stress over time.
Influencers, Monetization, and Identity
The rise of influencers has added a new complexity to the role social media plays in women’s lives. Women are no longer just consuming content; they’re now also encouraged to become content. The idea that anyone can build a personal brand blurs the line between authenticity and performance.
Even for those who don’t aspire to influencer status, there is a creeping sense that our value lies in how marketable we are. What does this mean for our identities? Are we choosing our hobbies, styles, or routines because they bring us joy, or because they fit an algorithmic mold? Are we showing up as ourselves, or as who we think we should be to gain approval?
Another Dimension to the Mental Load
Managing a social media presence takes mental bandwidth. Responding to messages, staying relevant, engaging with content all add up. For women who are already balancing careers, families, and household responsibilities, this digital labor can become another invisible task on an already overwhelming to-do list.
Social media can then become a place where women are expected to provide emotional support, share vulnerability, and perform caretaking in public. This online emotional labor can be just as draining as in-person interactions, especially when it’s not reciprocated.
Breaking the Cycle
Be Aware of Social Media’s Emotional Impact
It’s important to name and normalize the emotional impact of social media on your life. You’re not “too sensitive” if scrolling leaves you feeling anxious or inadequate.
Set Tech Limits
Consider becoming more intentional about your social media use. This might mean limiting screen time, muting triggering accounts, scheduling regular digital detoxes, and curating your feed to include accounts that uplift you.
Talk to a Therapist
If you’re struggling with anxiety and a lowered self-esteem because of social media use, you’re not alone. Therapy can help. Schedule your appointment today to talk about a healing plan that includes building resilience, celebrating your own accomplishments, and coping with stress.
